Original Article on Gawker

Yes the major event of the most important sociological experiment of our time had to do with cake. Who ate the cake? Remember when our subjects used to crawl in the hot tub and vomit on themselves? I can hardly even remember the hot tub. Is it there? Is it working? Is there a reason that it is no longer the central ploy in the guido playbook for getting girls all warmed up with their sexual juices and then landing them into bed? Have the guido's evolved past the stage where they have crawled out of their primordial ooze, their external amniotic fluid, and have crawled onto the great beach of humanity to walk on their own two legs? Is that it? Or did someone just drop a deuce in it and never clean it up? Seems more likely. My Ass Is Bleeding...(read more)