Original Article on The New York Observer

Too bad Valentines Day falls on a Saturday, denying us the pleasure of witnessing our smug married coworkers being downgraded from those $300 bamboo-and-caviar arrangements from Takashimaya they got last year! (Meanwhile, how many times do we have to tell our unwashed skinny musician that flaccid deli flowers do not count? Speaking of flaccid, fella ) Those trying to avert thoughts of this fast-approaching capitalist clusterhump may want to think about the solar system! Specifically Pluto, the cute planet, which, a few years ago when we werent paying attention, was apparently downgraded from planet to icy body! I was kind of in the middle of the controversy over the demotion of Pluto in 2001, when The New York Times broke a page-one story a...(read more)